Yeah, BLURRRRRRRRRRRGH! BLURGH! OMG! BLURGH!
Ok, sorry. I'm honestly confused about the date (late February!? What!) because, no, I realize everyone always SAYS this, but I actually MEAN this: where did all my time go!? My theory is that college gets exponentially harder and goes by exponentially faster as you go along. Freshman year was blissfully easy and took forrrrrevvvvverrrr. Sophomore was only mildly more difficult. Junior year came and went, I worked my ass off, and now here I am, a quarter away from graduating and wondering if my brain melted out of my head when I was banging it against the wall.
I truthfully don't know how to feel about all of this. Its hard not to gripe about it 24/7, but I still would like to maintain at least a not completely-abrasive attitude about the universe, so I try to shut up most of the time. But few of my friends are in the same place right now, and its hard to feel understood or cared about when I really just need someone to ask me, "and how does THAT make you feel?" for a solid two hours or so. I have less than three weeks to accomplish everything. All things. All the stuff I haven't started yet. Research projects, anthropological interviews, volunteer work, senior project proposals, a lifesize painting of two figures on cardboard (I know, what?), a zine about prisons and two presentations. Holy jesus.
That, and then apparently my house is for sale and there are always business guys with their BMWs parked outside asking to see my house and Windermere posting notices threatening to evict me unless I kiss their asses and pay them fifty bucks, AND THEN I TAKE THE BUS TO SCHOOL TO FIND OUT THAT NO ONE EVEN BOTHERED TO SHOW UP TO CLASS TODAY! Which is why I'm concerned about a brain hemorrhage.
So here I am, desperately clinging to any rational thought processes I might possess while trying to fit in five required movie screenings for the Human Rights Film Festival during my only hours available to get allll this crap done.
So what do I do?
Well, yesterday I ate an embarrassing amount of cheesecake that another student dumpstered from behind the college, if that tells you anything. I ate like, a quarter of a cheesecake. Out of a dumpster. With my hands. How about that.